Horror and ennui

Needed inspiration this morning so I picked up my big orange book, Do It: The Compendium.

Opened to page 139*:

Evaluate current trends
Devise the most horrific tale possible
Write it in three weeks

Really, this did not give me inspiration so much as a contradictory illogical upwelling of anger (politics) and ennui (everything else). That is, I stopped and thought about everything that’s going on, at work, and in my country and in the world right now. Fat Heffalump expresses it very well.

At the moment my usual feeling is an alternating sense of horror/anger, followed closely by despair and disengagement. I don’t really care to talk about it with acquaintances as I can’t bear it, I don’t want to hear any of the gumpf being repeated in the traditional media about “illegals”.

Yesterday, as news broke on Twitter about the latest British royal baby being born, I asked a colleague with British antecedents whether he was a monarchist or a republican. “Why, Con?” he replied.

“I don’t want to offend if I say anything anti-monarchist,” I said (having established that he was no royal supporter).

“Since when have you worried about offending?” he asked.

I replied that I didn’t want to offend people over trivialities, but that I didn’t mind taking a stand on things that matter to me.

Of course this argument is completely full of holes. (See what I mean about illogic?)

  1. What is trivial to me, may not be trivial to others.
  2. What matters to me, may not matter to others.
  3. There is no way of being 100% certain of what will (or will not) offend.
  4. Even silence can offend.
  5. Therefore, it’s important to pick my words carefully.
  6. However, it is possible to be too careful, to the point of being inane or ineffectual.
  7. Always be prepared to back up my arguments.
  8. Do I want to be right, or be kind? (I usually pick the former.)
  9. Also, be ready to apologise in the event of offence caused.

I’ve always found the Buddhist precept, “Right Speech” to be the most difficult one to follow. If you blather on too much (as I tend to), it’s easy to “indulge in idle chatter than lacks purpose or depth”.

Is there a point to this post? I’m just trying to record my generally meh state of mind at the present.

*This page was described as:
William Faulkner’s plan for the novel Sanctuary as described by Delmore Schwartz
From The Faulkner Museum, Meg Cranston, September 25, 2004

One Comment

Genevieve Tucker (@mulberry_road) 5 August 2013

Late to the party here – but yes, I share in the horror. It’s just indescribably awful, is it not? To make matters worse, we’re in a marginal seat. I don’t want to vote Labor but is that a vote for the Libs? Awfully depressing.
The only bright thing is that my husband’s parish is going to finance and support the housing of a family of asylum seekers 😀 so good on them.